The Adventures of Seneca Cranes beard & Cinnas Bun
by DatBeard
Summary: The story behind the beard and the bun. How they meet and are soon to find out they have come from similar pasts...


The Many Adventures of Seneca Cranes Beard and Cinnas Buns

Chapter 1: Buns and Beards

I woke up on a warm Saturday morning. I rolled over in my bed to see Cinnas buns staring back at me. I screamed my beard-y scream.

"Hello fuzzy one" murmured the bun.

I was outraged. "How did you get all up in my crib?" I demanded. (I sleep in a crib for safety purposes)

"Well, let me tell the story from my point of view" the buns began.

"It was the morning of the 74th annual Hunger Games. I woke up in Cinnas oven. I was fresh. He pulled me out and my cinnamon smell wafted into his large nostrils.

"Oh yeah. Look at you!" Cinna drooled.

I knew at that moment that he would love me forever. Until that slut Katniss walked in.

"Cinna! Put down that bun and help me put on my outfit" she whined.

"Hold on. I need another moment with my bun."

That's right. Me.

"You'll get to see me naked..." she said seductively.

Cinna dropped me on the floor and ran off with Katniss.

I was betrayed.

"YOU WHORE!" I screamed as she tapped his ass as they walked away.

I lied on the floor for a moment, sobbing. I could feel my warmth wafting away, and my icing hardening.

"PEETA. GET YO ASS IN HERE AND PICK ME UP. HELP! HELP!" I screamed rolling around the kitchen floor.

But answer there came none. So I knew it was time to go my own way. My tears were making my crisp bun all soggy so I knew it was time to go. I burst out into song. I sang "Gotta Go My Own Way" from High School Musical 2 as I struggled to get up.

At last I climbed to the counter, and looked out the window. I saw Peeta walk past.

"WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU A MINUTE AGO? WHEN I WAS YELLING FOR YOU. YOU SHITBAG!" I shouted, "I'M GOING TO BITCHSLAP YOUR WARM, BREAD SMELLING ASS".

He didn't answer. Then I remembered that I am a bun. So I jumped out the window, and hitched a ride on Peeta's back. I didn't know where Peeta was going, but I knew that I was going with him. He went into a Victorias Secret. I was likin' where this was going.

"Seneca! What are you doing here?" Peeta cheered.

A man came out of the shadows. Seneca Crane. That's when I first lay eyes on you. It was love at first sight.

"Nothing much. Just trying on some thongs. The usual." I heard Seneca say casually.

"Oh no way! I heard they had a sale on wonderbras so I thought I'd pick some up for Katniss" Peeta explained.

That skank. She must be a hooker or a prostitute, or some shit.

"So, good luck in the hunger games today. Secretly, I am rooting for you. If you win maybe we can be more that friends" Seneca Crane winked.

That's when I realised, Peeta was going in the arena. So I levitated, like Criss Angel, into Seneca Cranes pants. I noticed he was wearing a pink leopard print g-string.

Anyways, later that day, and by that day I mean yesterday, he went home.

I jumped out of his pants and landed softly in a pile of his thongs.

That's when I saw a crib. Your crib. I was cold and lonely so I jumped in. And here I am"

"Wow" I said astonished, "I never knew Seneca wore thongs".

There was an awkward moment.

"So, what's your back story? Why aren't you on Seneca's face anymore?" The buns asked me.

I thought for a long moment and it all came back.

"I remember when it all started. Seneca was 15.

I was the first hair to ever appear on his cheek. The world seemed huge to one little hair.

Over time I grew up until he became head game maker. He thought it was time to go for a different style. That's where my swirls and curls come in. He groomed me elegantly. I was his most prized possession. That is, until that pole dancer Katniss came in.

"Seneca, watch this brand new pole dancing routine I was thinking of doing in the arena" she said, whipping a pole out of her pocket. She wore a thong covered with mockingjays.

Since Seneca Crane had a thong fetish, he looked past all the rebel symbols.

I couldn't watch that bitch Katniss swirl around that pole one more time. So that's when I punched Seneca in the face.

He screamed and left the room to go to the bathroom.

He looked in the mirror and whispered to himself, "Peeta and Katniss are both in the hunger games. They're both so sexy! How could one die? They're my most prized possessions! I have to save them."

EXUSE ME? I started to yell. "YOU LITTLE ASS! I AM YOUR MOST PRIZED POSSESION YOU DICK. WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN? YOU MANWHORE! I CAN'T LIVE HERE ANYMORE!"

Seneca collected Katniss, and walked into his bachelor pad to get his wallet.

"I'm going to Victorias Secret to get some thongs. Wanna come?" Seneca asked Katniss.

"Aw hell naw. I'm going to Cinnas so he can see me naked" she said.

"Awwwwwwww heeeell naaaww . No one rejects MY Seneca Crane!" I shouted, flailing around madly.

At that moment, I jumped right off his face and splatted on the ground.

"YOU WHORE!" I yelled to Katniss and she tapped Senecas ass as they walked out.

I built myself a crib, and went to bed. Then I woke up and your buns were all up in here".

"Wow, we have so much in common" the buns gaped.

"Maybe, maybe you're right" I admitted.

"It feels good to have some company" the buns sighed.

"You are so right" I said snuggling into his toasty warm spiral.

"Wanna get married?" the buns blurted out.

"No."

End of Chapter 1.


End file.
